GROW model: a manager’s guide with example questions

The GROW model is one of the most used coaching frameworks in UK workplaces and one of the most commonly misapplied. Managers reach for it, then spend the whole conversation in the Options stage.

The GROW model is a four-stage coaching framework that structures a conversation around a goal. A coach or manager works through Goal, Reality, Options and Way forward in order, asking questions rather than giving answers, so the person being coached arrives at their own actions.

It was developed in the 1980s by Graham Alexander, Alan Fine and Sir John Whitmore, and it remains the default structure for coaching conversations in UK organisations because it fits a 30-minute one to one without training or materials.

The value is in the sequence, not the stages themselves:

• It delays advice. Most unstructured conversations open with a suggestion. GROW makes that structurally impossible until stage three.
• It tests the goal before working on it. A vague goal gets exposed in Reality rather than after three weeks of wasted action.
• It ends with a commitment. The final stage forces a date and a number, which is what separates a coaching conversation from a chat.

Stage	Question it answers	Typical time
Goal	What do you want from this conversation and beyond it?	5 minutes
Reality	Where are you now, and what have you already tried?	10 minutes
Options	What could you do?	10 minutes
Way forward	What will you do, and by when?	5 minutes

Some versions use “Will” rather than “Way forward” for the final stage. The stage does the same job either way: it converts discussion into a commitment with a date on it.

Start by agreeing what the conversation is for, then what the person wants beyond it. Two goals sit inside every GROW conversation: the session goal and the end goal, and confusing them is the most common early mistake.

Push for specificity. “I want to progress” is not a goal. “I want to be leading a team of four by the end of next year” can be worked with, because it can be tested against reality.

Ask:

• What would you like to get out of the next half hour?
• What do you want to achieve, and by when?
• How will you know you’ve got there?
• What would be different if you achieved it?
• Is that goal within your control?

Establish the current position with facts rather than opinion. This is the stage managers rush, and skipping it is why so many coaching conversations produce actions the person was never going to take.

Ask what they’ve already tried. It stops you suggesting something they attempted six months ago, which damages your credibility for the rest of the conversation.

Ask:

• Where are you now in relation to that goal?
• What have you already tried?
• What worked, and what didn’t?
• What’s getting in the way?
• Who else is involved, and what’s their view?
• On a scale of one to ten, where are you now?

Generate a wide list before evaluating anything. The purpose of this stage is quantity, and evaluating each option as it arrives kills the flow after about three.

Hold back your own suggestions until the person has exhausted theirs. If you offer yours first, they stop generating and start agreeing, and you end the conversation owning an action plan that belongs to someone else.

Ask:

• What could you do?
• What else?
• If you had no constraints, what would you try?
• What would you advise a colleague in this position?
• Who could help, and what would you ask them for?
• What’s the option you’ve dismissed already, and why?

“What else” is the highest-value question in the model. Asking it three times usually produces the option the person actually acts on.

Convert options into one or two specific commitments with dates. Then test motivation honestly, because an action the person rates below seven out of ten for commitment will not happen.

Ask:

• Which of those will you do?
• What’s the first step, and when will you take it?
• On a scale of one to ten, how committed are you?
• What would make that a nine or ten?
• What might stop you, and how will you handle it?
• What support do you need from me?

Careerminds coaches treat anything below seven out of ten as a signal to go back to Options rather than accept the action. A five means the person is agreeing, not committing.

Keep this list in your notes for the first few conversations. Most managers stop needing it after three or four.

Stage	Opening question	Follow-up when stuck
Goal	What do you want to achieve?	What would success look like in six months?
Goal	How will you measure it?	Who else would notice the difference?
Reality	What’s happening now?	What have you already tried?
Reality	What’s in your control here?	What’s not, and how do you work around it?
Options	What could you do?	What else?
Options	What would you do with no constraints?	What’s stopping that being possible?
Way forward	What will you do first?	When exactly?
Way forward	How committed are you, one to ten?	What would raise that number?

GROW works when the person has the capability to solve the problem and needs structure to get there. It fails when the real issue is information, authority or performance, because coaching questions can’t supply any of those.

Use GROW for:

• Career and development conversations
• A person weighing up options with no clear right answer
• A stuck project where the blocker isn’t technical
• Preparing someone for a difficult conversation of their own
• Regular one to ones that have drifted into status updates

Don’t use GROW for:

• Telling someone their performance is unacceptable
• Delivering a redundancy or restructure decision
• Anything needing an immediate instruction
• Situations where you already know the answer and are asking questions to lead them to it

That last one is the most damaging, because people notice, and it costs you the framework for every future conversation.

Careerminds research found that 97% of HR professionals believe training for difficult conversations is adequate but only 41% of people managers agree. It also found that 72% of people managers say they regularly feel caught between leadership expectations and team needs, and that just 31% feel very supported. Source: The leadership readiness gap and how HR can close it, Careerminds, August 2026. The sample is US HR professionals and people managers, though the gap is recognisable in UK organisations too.

A framework is not a substitute for training. It gives managers a structure to work inside while they build the skill, which matters most for the squeezed middle those figures describe.

Most GROW conversations fail in the same five ways.

1. Spending 80% of the time in Options. Suggestions feel productive. They’re the least useful part of the model.
2. Setting a goal that isn’t theirs. If you named the goal, you’ll be chasing the actions.
3. Skipping Reality. Without it, the options are guesses.
4. Asking leading questions. “Have you thought about speaking to Sarah?” is advice wearing a question mark.
5. Ending without a date. An action without a deadline is a preference.

Our guide to training managers as career coaches covers the wider skill set, career coaching vs career counselling explains where coaching stops and other support should start, and why coaching only your executives is a mistake makes the case for pushing the capability further down. If your one to ones are already structured around ratings and objectives, our guide to performance reviews covers where GROW fits alongside them.

What does the acronym GROW stand for?

Goal, Reality, Options and Way forward. Some practitioners use Will instead of Way forward for the fourth stage, which covers the same ground: what the person commits to and by when.

What are the four stages of the GROW model?

Goal sets what the person wants. Reality establishes where they are and what they’ve tried. Options generates possible actions. Way forward turns those into a specific commitment with a deadline and a commitment rating.

Is the GROW model still relevant?

Yes, and its simplicity is why. A manager can learn it in one sitting and apply it in a 30-minute one to one without materials, which is more than can be said for most coaching frameworks developed since.

What are the criticisms of the GROW model?

It assumes the person already has the capability to solve the problem, so it’s poorly suited to skills gaps or performance issues. It can also feel mechanical if a manager works through the stages rigidly rather than following the conversation. Neither criticism argues against the model, only against using it for the wrong conversation.

Managers who coach well retain people who would otherwise leave, and most reach the role without ever being taught how. Structured leadership coaching builds the capability rather than handing managers a framework and hoping. Our guide to leadership development programmes in the UK sets out the options.

Careerminds works to a 30:1 coaching ratio, so coaches know the people they support rather than managing a caseload.

Talk to our UK team about coaching and leadership development for your organisation.